February 13, 2011

Just Pace Yourself

On Saturday at 7am sharp just as I ate my last cracker with cream cheese Amanda arrived decked out in her running gear ready to instill all of her knowledge and initiate me into the "runner's" club. Naturally, I was nervous. I'm not really a runner, but I want to be...I think. I haven't properly trained, I'm not at the weight I should've been by now, and HELLO did I mention she's a marathoner?! I was so worried that I would embarass myself infront of her. (SIDE NOTE: Amanda is an awesome and supportive friend who was already proud of me before we even started, clearly irrational thinking...so unlike me LOL).

I woke up several times through out the night in fear that I would over sleep. When it the alarm finally went off, I woke up (after a few snoozes), tuned into the local news and was informed that it was 41 degrees!! Great...just great!! Immediately I told myself that this was going to be a sucky run since its so hard for me to run in the cold (I work best in the summer). I immediately psyched myself out. To some extent I lived up to the very expectation that I so early on set for myself.

Before we left I drank my anti-inflammatory medication to that my knee wouldn't bother me. (NOTE TO SELF: Drink the medicine at least an hour before activity so that it takes effect). Amanda asked if I wanted to do 4&1's or 5&1's (4/5 minutes running, 1 minute walking) and I went with the 4&1's. She plugged in all the info into her handy dandy running watch (pic below) and we were off.

This watch is quite the gadget!! It tracks your pace, your distance, heart rate and notifies you when its time to switch from running to walking. It was awesome!

Unfortunately there was not a lot of running...I had to walk way before we even hit the first mile. Between the temperature, an achy knee, and my self doubt I had to result to walking. I was mad for giving up on myself so quickly. So from that point on we walked, but that's ok. During our walk I opened up to Amanda about my fears, my frustrations with my weight loss, and how my mind seems to always win the battle. It was a long walk in which there was pain, crying, laughter, advice given and taken, a deepening of friendship and a true moment of enlightenment. The walk finished a lot better than it started and I think I came back a different person.

There was a moment on on our way back that I will never forget. Amanda was sharing her story from when she first started running and how difficult it was for her. During one of her first runs she lost all control of her breathing and was finding it hard to finish. Then she took a moment and told herself  that "If Jesus had the strength to endure getting nailed to the cross there is no reason why I can't do this!" When she said that something inside of me changed. She was so right! That statement holds very true in my heart and its something that I will try to live by in everything that I do.

On Saturday I walked 10.7 miles (we can round up and say 11 miles LOL) and here are a couple of things that I learned:
  • I learned that, I'm doing this half marathon for ME. No one asked me to do it. If I don't finish/don't do it I'm not upsetting or disappointing anyone.
  • I learned that, if I don't finish that's OK because I know damn well that I CAN do it. I wasn't sure before but now I know.
  • I learned that my pacing on Saturday was 18.23, I need to do it in 16 mins per mile. I need to pace myself better. I may not be able to do it on Disney time but I can definitely do it on Nery time!
  • I learned that, I may doubt myself a lot but I am much more capable than I give myself credit for.
  • I learned that, I may not have ran on Saturday but I did not quit. I completed an 11 mile walk!
  • I learned that, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).
It may sound cliche but I rediscovered who I was on Saturday and I like who I found. Its a marathon not a sprint and my journey is far from over.  Come 2/27/2011 I am going to celebrate whether or not I am allowed to cross the finish line. For over a year I've been on this journey and I will never be the same woman again. Attempting this race proves that. So on that day, I will say a prayer, take a deep breath, turn my music on and just pace myself.

2 comments:

  1. This post brought me to tears!!!! The weight loss journey is a tough one! Now taking this on is amazing!!! Proud of you and I know you got this!!!!!

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